By the power of God and will

I read a lot lately. Mostly on self improvement and those motivational books that can help me to move on after being dumped. Oh yes, I am not ashamed to say that I was dumped.

For the past one month I've been thinking if the failure of the relationship was totally because of me. I was feeling like I had committed the greatest sin during the first week of the break-up but when people tells you that Time Will Heal, I'm telling you they were absofuckinglutely right!

Because it does!

I don't rely on the anti-depression pills anymore. I can sleep well at night. I'm not afraid to go through weekends. I don't feel sad right after working hours. I do go for clubbing with different friends and though he was never out from my mind, I managed not to dwell into it and it makes me feel better.

My energy level is getting higher and those negative vibes are slowly flowing away and I am slowly are in control of myself. I learn to appreciate who I am and I realize that without self respect, I could never be true to myself nor I can love myself to let me be loved by others.

I lied down on the sofa the other day and my parents were sitting at another corner of the living room talking to each other and there were few occasion there were some disagreement among them and I just watched them without hearing what were the topics. I realized that I am so lucky to be able to watch them talking to each other, I am lucky that I can still come home to their open arms. I am thankful that I can talk to them about almost everything and discuss and argue with them and at the end of the day, I am still their daughter and they still love me unconditionally.

So why I cried for someone who doesn't love me? why did I cry for someone who doesn't appreciate me at all? why did I bother to miss someone who never really has the heart for me? why I was so afraid he left me whereas my parents never left me no matter what?

I pulled my horses back one day and pulled my energy back together and work my ass out to justify myself, to honor myself, to love myself and to tell myself that I'm beautiful, no matter what he said. I have so much love from my family and friends and I need to honor and appreciate them.

My life is what I make of it and I am not afraid anymore to be who I am.