I'm reading...

....."Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson. My brother gave it to me one fine day.

I think everyone should grab the book and read it religiously. It helps me to change my perception and the way I'm thinking now. It gives me hope that I can make a difference in my life if I know how to look into issues that are part of my growing up life. It teaches me how to make changes and how to want things in my own ways. It teaches me the Law of Attraction, visualising what you want and focus and things start to work out eventually. It teaches me how to not lose strenght and keep trying and accepting any failures as a lesson to be learnt.

Read the book my friends, it helps a lot.
:)

Hehehehe

Let me tell you a little secret..

I have a party to attend tomorrow night. It's the birthday of one of the world's most generous human being I ever known, my big boss, DS.

And tomorrow for the first time in my whole entire life I am going to wear a little black dress I bought last month. hehe

Every girl has little black dress in their closet and I just got mine after all these years and I'm going to put it on me and let my hair down, put on my dancing shoes and waltz the night away.

My first night out wearing a dress. And I feel good about my body. :)

The Weekend

Last weekend my Facebook buddy came down from Dubai and we met in KLCC with my close friend Putri and my sister. We were at Dome cafe from 4pm to 8.45pm chatting and talking about everything.

I was rather quiet while the most talkative ones were of course Putri and my sister. Putri being who she really is was direct about few topics that to me were abit personal. My sister talked about her relationship of course and I was being a listener and laughed at some silly remarks that made about me. I was surprised that my sister could tell 95% of my choise of men! and one stage I was rather embarrased because she kept talking on and on and she was like describing my good friend from Dubai. It was hillarious and we all laughed about it.

We adjourned to Rum Jungle to watch Sky High performed. I always wanted to go to Rum Jungle to listen to Sha-sha, my ex's friend singing and she didn't fail me that night.

I had a good evening with 3 of them and it was like ages I haven't been to KL but it was a worth journey because H, my Iranian friend is cool and the chats were had were fun. We took pictures of course and there were times when H hugged me I had goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach. haha. Maybe because I haven't been hugged that way for a while.

I felt good because I managed to allow that to happen and it means I'm moving on and opening my heart to all possibilities which is good for me rather then feeling sorry about myself.

We had nice lunch the next day and H told me that when I stop questioning about why this and that, that would be the day I am fully recover from the heartbreak. H was right. I don't question that much lately. I'm letting go bit by bit and I feel less heavy in my head. I still carry the memories which I hope can be erased forever soon.

My energy level is ok...and trying to think positive and learn to love myself more which it helps a lot.

I surrender and I'm ok with it. :)

By the power of God and will

I read a lot lately. Mostly on self improvement and those motivational books that can help me to move on after being dumped. Oh yes, I am not ashamed to say that I was dumped.

For the past one month I've been thinking if the failure of the relationship was totally because of me. I was feeling like I had committed the greatest sin during the first week of the break-up but when people tells you that Time Will Heal, I'm telling you they were absofuckinglutely right!

Because it does!

I don't rely on the anti-depression pills anymore. I can sleep well at night. I'm not afraid to go through weekends. I don't feel sad right after working hours. I do go for clubbing with different friends and though he was never out from my mind, I managed not to dwell into it and it makes me feel better.

My energy level is getting higher and those negative vibes are slowly flowing away and I am slowly are in control of myself. I learn to appreciate who I am and I realize that without self respect, I could never be true to myself nor I can love myself to let me be loved by others.

I lied down on the sofa the other day and my parents were sitting at another corner of the living room talking to each other and there were few occasion there were some disagreement among them and I just watched them without hearing what were the topics. I realized that I am so lucky to be able to watch them talking to each other, I am lucky that I can still come home to their open arms. I am thankful that I can talk to them about almost everything and discuss and argue with them and at the end of the day, I am still their daughter and they still love me unconditionally.

So why I cried for someone who doesn't love me? why did I cry for someone who doesn't appreciate me at all? why did I bother to miss someone who never really has the heart for me? why I was so afraid he left me whereas my parents never left me no matter what?

I pulled my horses back one day and pulled my energy back together and work my ass out to justify myself, to honor myself, to love myself and to tell myself that I'm beautiful, no matter what he said. I have so much love from my family and friends and I need to honor and appreciate them.

My life is what I make of it and I am not afraid anymore to be who I am.

Giving Thanks

I've just read something nice and would like to share with you.

"No matter where in the world you call home and whether you traditionally take a day to celebrate the idea of giving thanks, or not -- let this be a reminder to stop and really take time to count your blessing.

Counting your blessings and taking time to appreciate the special people in your life can be done any time, any place, at no financial expenses..and it's truly a gift to yourself, as well as to those you thank."

Simple but strong meaning. And so my dear friends, thank you, for everything. :)